everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
