Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize