Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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