Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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