I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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