you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Operation Purity has been aborted
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
