It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
