If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
