Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize