I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
