Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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