I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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