Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dick very happy bro
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
