I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
