I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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