I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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