yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
