If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
