Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize