Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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