You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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