He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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