Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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