I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
