I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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