Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
