Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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