bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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