Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
