and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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