i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
