all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Small penises have feelings too.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
