yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
