Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
