I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize