Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
