oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize