I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Text me some of your sweat
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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