Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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