Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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