pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
