He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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