no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
