I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
