If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
