I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
