hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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