I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
