So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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