When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
