I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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