so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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