did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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