I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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