my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my being single is dangerous.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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