sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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