I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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