I want to stick my p in your. b.
She is in my trunk
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
