it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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