I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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