Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
