Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How naked do you want me to be?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
