I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize