Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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