gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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