I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
