I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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