Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes

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(773): View more from Illinois

So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.

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(416): View more from Ontario

Thursdays are my worst days

(1-416): View more from Ontario

but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

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(404): View more from Georgia

we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?

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(209): View more from California

I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.

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