If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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