I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
