Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
there is glitter all over my balls
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize