Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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