I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I love how my cats smell like pot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
