What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
