the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
