dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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