Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
